This is mad

Well I am back at sea. The wind is strong and the sea rough and the boat is pushed around and bumping and rolling, with the odd wave crashingagainst the side and flooding the deck. And I am thinking what the bloody hell am I doing out here? I cant remember what reasons I gave myself for ever thinking about doing this, they were obviously stupid ones. I feel sick with anxiety and worry, my appetite has disappeared, - but what can I do? Just keep hanging on and waiting for things to settle - which they are forecast to do. In nearly six hours since I left Marsden Cove Ive almos reached the point it took me 2 days to get to last attempt. A ship went past. It will be dark soon…what was I thnking..

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