The Offer

I decided that if I was going to go back, I would have to fix the Hydrovane properly, and according to the makers, the best solution was an “A” bracket – with two flanges to be attached to the transom instead of one, thus spreading the load – but it needed to be sent from the UK. In any event, a new owner would need that bracket anyway so I ordered and paid for it.

On Sapphire the A Bracket will be uppermost

I also phoned Jason, the guy who had done heaps of work on Sapphire before I left Australia in 2009, and he gave me the address of a supplier of quality 316 stainless bolts, so I could take some with me if I decided to return. Finally I booked my tickets but departure was still a week away and Sapphire was still on the market – I still had options.

And then, literally on the eve of my departure from Sydney for New Zealand and Papeete I received an email from the Broker : she had found a buyer and he was prepared to pay my asking price : this was news I had been wanting to hear a few weeks back but now, having  convinced myself she wasn’t going to sell soon and that I needed to return to rescue Sapphire from the Boatyard this news confused me completely. The buyer needed time to get a loan so I hastily  emailed back to say I would need a non refundable deposit in 48 hours as I would have to cancel all my flights and then lose the window of opportunity I had to restart my sailing adventure should the buyer not be able to raise the money. The Broker emailed back almost immediately and agreed to my demand.

So Sapphire was going to sell after all.

The Last Photo of Sapphire

I hardly slept that night. I wondered why  I had been made to wait till I reached the point of finally deciding I didn’t want her to sell before I was offered what I had been wanting for weeks before? I refuse to believe in a God or in Destiny but sometimes it feels as if ‘something” has you in its sights, is playing with your emotions and your  sanity, for some cruel purpose. But what?  I remembered that entire day in 2011 when I was bashing into wind and waves at 1 knot, drenched from head to toe heading in to Rurutu where all I thought about was getting off the boat and forgetting about her. I imagined how I would persuade someone, anyone, to take her off my hands the moment I stepped ashore and in my head I devised irresistible arguments against any objections that might be raised. I remembered those days returning to Raiatea after the bolts broke when I was hanging on the words of the broker who had said Sapphire would sell in  a day – it was exactly what I wanted. Sailing just seemed like a pointless struggle against things I had absolutely no control over and it was lonely and exhausting and I was sick of it and needed to get a life. In fact the boat was preventing me from having a life, it was like a millstone around my neck. I would get to Raiatea, the Boat would sell and I would be free. I could return to Australia or New Zealand, get work, get somewhere permanent to live, get all my stuff out of from where it had been stored the last few years and stop living out of a tiny suitcase, sleeping in a new bed every few days or weeks, and maybe even find a soul mate.

So here I was finally on the very edge of making all this possible – but instead of being excited, I was suddenly not so sure any more.